Don't Let Negative People Affect YOUR Life!

Even when I read the title of this post I say to myself, "Easier said than done!" Whenever people are feeling down as a consequence of the actions of others, it's easy to say "Don't worry about it! Don't let those people affect you!" It's easy to say, but quite difficult to put into action.

For the past year or so, I have been sitting and drowning in a negative work environment. I keep telling myself "Maybe it will get better! This is just a temporary period." But it is becoming more and more clear that if I don't actively work to change my own situation, no one is going to bail me out. I have been looking for other job prospects for about 7 months now and I am getting more frustrated and desperate as time goes on. Yesterday, I had my annual performance review with my manager where they give us our "white sheets". These papers outline your annual raise, bonuses, etc. and give employees and their managers a change to sit down and give praise and set direction for the next year. Unfortunately, I already had very low expectations for my review and to my surprise, it was even lower than my already low expectations. The entire meeting my manager stressed how I was late on my projects(which is not true) and how someone at my "jobgrade" should be performing at a much higher level. This session felt more like a trial where I was being judged.

There was no positive affirmations. There was no praise for my hard-work or thanks for any of my work. Just criticism and berating. As much as I wanted to say something, I decided not to confront my manager as I know it would only lead to more arguing. My manager already has a negative opinion of me and he has proved that no matter what I do to try to correct "mistakes" or improve my "poor performance" there is no turnaround. There is no way for me to satisfy his requirements and earn his respect or trust. At this point I don't even care anymore(which is quite a bad situation in itself). I don't have the motivation to put in effort to earn his respect anymore. I don't care what his opinion is of me and I don't care to perform my work with passion for him if there is no appreciation.

I am trying very hard to not let his negative attitude bring me down. Why should I allow someone who has lost all my respect affect my life? Why should I let their negativity ruin my day? I will try my best to enjoy my life and leave these frustrations and disappointment at work. 

I also need to consistently remind myself to find meaning and purpose in what I do. I need to set a direction to my life and make sure that everyday is working towards that direction or goal. Right now, I want to find a career that I have a passion for and that I enjoy doing independent of the pay. Of course, a salary boost is always welcomed but right now I just need to find something I can enjoy. A large part of my enjoyment earlier in my career was from having a feeling of support and teamwork with my work group. My first manager was very supportive and actually provided appreciation and thanks for the hard work I put in. And guess what, that made me want to work harder! And it started an endless positive cycle! 

I find it so interesting how life can take such a drastically different path for each person based on their environment. A bad work life, a stressed family life or conversely a great work life and a loving family life can change a person's trajectory in life so much. And it is so interesting that these people walk around and enter and exit your life all the time! You wouldn't even know it!

I just need to make sure I enjoy my life in the present, push out all other negativity, and spread positive energy into the world around me. Love my girlfriend and family, laugh with friends, enjoy and be grateful for my situation and give thanks that my life is in a good place.

2-5-19