Daily Reflections

 Back again with another post, this time from our home back in the US of A. We concluded our 6month sabbatical overseas and had a truly amazing time. Seeing family and immersing ourselves in the culture of Vietnam/Malaysia was a blessing. It has been such a big transition back to our normal routine in the US(including the big increase in food bills and general cost of living haha). We have started the routine of returning to work and luckily my wife has been able to secure a position back at her previous employer. It is a step-down in title, but the pay is actually a bit more than her previous salary, which is good news as it means there is more room for growth. I am so happy for her to be able to secure a job relatively quickly and smoothly.  My journey back to work has been a different story. I have had a pretty difficult time finding roles which match with my background and experience, and those that do are very underpaid(I'm talking like 40% paycut). This is a difficult pi...

 I'm back again with another update! Following up from my previous post, our family has finally embarked on our 6 month sabbatical from work and we are currently in Malaysia! Coincidentally, today is my birthday and it felt appropriate to have a new journal entry during this very interesting period in our lives. About a month after my last post, my wife received news that her company was intending to have a reduction in force and her group would most likely be a target to cut. This pushed our plan to step away from work forward about half a year earlier than we intended. However, after long discussions with my wife and teetering back and forth on making a firm decision, we booked a 1way flight to Hanoi and that sealed the deal that our trip would happen. We were terribly nervous about the logistics of the trip, but planting our foot and booking the trip forced us to move forward with our plans. Prior to this trip, I was also incredibly nervous about how to relay my decision to resi...

Checking in again after another break in writing. I know like I sound like a broken record here(especially as I look back at my previous post throughout the years), but I have been struggling a lot lately when it comes to career satisfaction and how it affects my view of my own self-worth.  Reading back on my last post, I was excited to start my new job as I saw it as an opportunity to step outside of my comfort zone and learn new things. It is true I have learned an immense amount by joining my new company. I have learned a lot of test and measurement equipment usage and skills, how to verify new PCBA designs, how to load and use custom firmware, how to work with external vendors to develop custom automated test solutions, etc. Overall, I have become much more confident in using electronic test equipment and am very happy about that! However, over the last few months and especially the last few weeks I have been struggling greatly with my own sense of self-worth.  Talking wit...

Checking into this journal again since my last post at the end of last year. Looking back I realize it has been over 5 years since I started this journal, time goes by so fast! It's amazing to slow down and reflect on how much life can change just in 5 years.  New life events for 2023, I started a new job at an aerospace and defense company just over a month ago at the end of June. I had quite a few hesitations leaving my last role so quickly(just over a year) as well as going into a field which is quite foreign to me. However, the main motivation I found to move forward was the opportunity to learn. If I were to remain afraid to take steps outside my comfort zone, I would not be able to push my development and grow as an individual.  So far, the job has been relatively good in the sense that I have had the opportunity to get back into the lab, which I believe I did sorely miss in my last role. I am definitely learning a lot in terms of power supply design and testing as well ...

 Today is December 31, 2022 and I wanted to write some reflections on how the last year has been. One of my major goals for this year was to run 1000 miles during the year, and I'm happy to say that I achieved this goal! I ran for 1001.2 miles this year despite a few cases of illness(a case of COVID, a case of the stomach bug) as well as injury(posterior tibial tendonitis / pain in ankle and feet). In November, I was at about ~850miles completed and my feet and ankles were killing me(and still haven't completely recovered). First, it started out as pain in my right ankle and inside tendon. I thought it was because my shoes were worn out, but even after swapping in new shoes the pain didn't subside. I tried taking a few days break with no running and it did help, but I wasn't able to take enough time off for it to completely heal. As my right foot recovered, I think I started favoring my left side more and the same pain and soreness developed as a result. I was so close ...

Again, it's been awhile since my last entry, but again I feel the need to jot down my thoughts and to reflect on my life at this point in time.  A lot has changed again since my last update. Earlier this year I started a new job which I thought at the time would be a great new chapter of my life. I had achieved what I was working towards for many years: a higher title and a higher salary. Great! All is right in the world! However, as I soon found out(and what my much more wise wife has told me) money cannot solve all problems.  I originally took this role because the salary was a huge increase(50%!) and I thought that with my background I would be able to succeed in this role with minimal issue. However, this job has proven much more challenging than I expected.  It is working on the development side from inception of a product, through full test proposal, through implementation and release. The full life-cycle of a product. I do not have experience in such an extensive p...

 Today was a very sad day in our lives. Sadly, we had to attend the funeral service(virtually, due to Covid concerns rising again) of our dear friend who unexpectedly and very suddenly had passed away last week on Sunday July 25th, 2021. I will always remember him as a very caring, jolly, and adventurous person. Whenever we would gather together with friends, he would talk about his latest travels(pre-pandemic) and all of the great food and experiences he had. He loved travelling, seeing new places, and exploring the culture and talking with the people he met. He was a man of few words, very private about his life, but when it came to friends and family he would do anything to make sure everyone was enjoying themselves and felt comfortable. After hearing all of the words spoken about him today, I had no idea how many people he had an impact on. But I can tell, he had a deep heart and was more like the silently loving father or uncle to many. The type of person who would do things b...

 It's been quite a while since my last post and as I read through my past posts, I am happy to say that quite a lot of changes have happened in the last 2 years. The inspiration for the start of this online journal was due to extreme stress in my work and constant feeling of anxiety, depression, and hopelessness. It was a good way for me to have an outlet to express my thoughts and feelings in the moment as well as serve as an interesting way to look back on the past me. Shortly after my last post, in April 2019 I started a new job! I managed to escape the hell which was my last work group and start fresh in a new, supportive environment. The start of my new job was the beginning of implementing a new "smart" factory in my area to manufacture, assemble, and test new 5G radio products. It was a breath of fresh air to start working on something so new to me. A project I could learn and work hard on to make successful. A project that I actually cared about again. The initial...

Even when I read the title of this post I say to myself, "Easier said than done!" Whenever people are feeling down as a consequence of the actions of others, it's easy to say "Don't worry about it! Don't let those people affect you!" It's easy to say, but quite difficult to put into action. For the past year or so, I have been sitting and drowning in a negative work environment. I keep telling myself "Maybe it will get better! This is just a temporary period." But it is becoming more and more clear that if I don't actively work to change my own situation, no one is going to bail me out. I have been looking for other job prospects for about 7 months now and I am getting more frustrated and desperate as time goes on. Yesterday, I had my annual performance review with my manager where they give us our "white sheets". These papers outline your annual raise, bonuses, etc. and give employees and their managers a change to sit dow...

August 11, 2018 So it is 5:42am and I cannot sleep. Yesterday, was another demotivating day where I had a meeting with my manager to discuss project updates again. About 2 weeks ago, I was asked(but really just assigned) to pick up another project by a rotation engineer who left the group. I had no prior experience or background in this project(new tool I never used or had training for, new board design I had never seen, new programming language I had never used). Personally, I think I picked up this project and made a lot of progress on it so far, working a majority of the time on it. However, a point that both my direct manager as well as the one above him have made is that this additional task should not  affect the schedule and tasks for my main project. This seems like a very unreasonable request as essentially it is saying that the new project should require 0 time and effort, making no impact on my current workload. In our weekly meetings, I am constantly and consisten...

July 10, 2018 This morning was quite a depressing and eye-opening day. I sat staring at my computer screen looking over the same document and same design circuits I have been looking at for the last 5-6 months. I realized that I no longer have any interest in the project I am working on, I have no motivation to make sure it is successful and I am not happy at work. I was literally just staring at the computer screen as my eyes went in and out of focus of what I was looking at. I have no personal grudge or objection to my current or past managers, but I believe their behavior and attitude of how they should treat young employees is misguided. Last Friday, we had a dry-run of our deep dive presentations with my old manager. One of my co-workers was on a rotation program and she will be returning to the group on Monday. During her presentation, my old manager grilled her the whole time. "Do you know anything about your product? Is your [lack of knowledge] because the design infor...

June 14, 2018 I just got the great news that my Master's Degree in Electrical Engineering has finally arrived! This is a huge accomplishment for me as it has taken me 3 years of hard work while working a full-time job at the same time. As a reflection on this, I feel as though a lot has changed in the last 3 years. I have achieved much greater confidence in my technical abilities and I feel as though my new knowledge will keep me competitive for many years to come. Previously, I would always feel intimidated or incompetent in front of co-workers who had already been working in the industry for many years and also have higher education degrees. However, it is not logical for me to compare myself to these people. Some of them would even "test" or "challenge" me to demonstrate my knowledge even in group meetings in front of everyone else! Why would they resort to such demeaning and passive aggressive behavior... In any case, I find that the way I carry myself a...

Hello, I wanted to start this blog as an online journal of my reflections on life and my thoughts. There is no fixed schedule to this blog, I will update it with posts when I feel the need to write down my thoughts. Hopefully, I can share this blog as a forum with family, friends, and others as a way to reflect on their own life and to start discussions about topics that are presented here. On to the first post! ----------------------------------------------- I've decided to start this blog today as I have been having somewhat of a pre-mid-life crisis. These feelings of distress and the need to write down my thoughts ultimately stem from my increasing stress at work and contemplating how I want to plan my life for the future. Do I enjoy my job? Do I enjoy working for others? Am I making an impact on the world? How can I work on things I am passionate and care about while at the same time preparing a financially stable life for myself and my family in the future? What am I e...