Beginning of the Blog
Hello,
I wanted to start this blog as an online journal of my reflections on life and my thoughts. There is no fixed schedule to this blog, I will update it with posts when I feel the need to write down my thoughts. Hopefully, I can share this blog as a forum with family, friends, and others as a way to reflect on their own life and to start discussions about topics that are presented here.
On to the first post!
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I've decided to start this blog today as I have been having somewhat of a pre-mid-life crisis. These feelings of distress and the need to write down my thoughts ultimately stem from my increasing stress at work and contemplating how I want to plan my life for the future. Do I enjoy my job? Do I enjoy working for others? Am I making an impact on the world? How can I work on things I am passionate and care about while at the same time preparing a financially stable life for myself and my family in the future? What am I even passionate about anymore anyways? These are all questions that have been running through my mind recently.
This breaking point all started about 3 months ago. I was in my last semester of finishing my graduate degree in Electrical Engineering. I was taking 2 classes during the semester and working full-time at the same time. This was no easy task, balancing a full work schedule as well as a full school schedule. I also wanted to make sure my relationships both with my girlfriend and my friends and family did not deteriorate. I had recently moved under the direction of a new manager on a very challenging project who was known to be quite the intimidating person. He is very technically skilled and has a sometimes confrontational and aggressive personality and management style. Me being an introvert and someone who does not like conflict, especially with my direct boss, I am in quite a high pressure situation. I wanted to deliver on my project and prove to my new manager and higher up managers that I can be successful even under high stress.
The combination of all these heavy workloads has burnt me out quite badly with work and with my field in general. My girlfriend and I had gone on a 2-week vacation to Toronto, New York, and Washington DC. Both of us had been very stressed and burnt out at work and we had hopes that this vacation would allow us to recover and re-focus on our work. However, since then, I have been pondering whether I want to continue working in this field or decide to pursue something else. Coincidentally, this has been highlighted by 2 other coworkers who have also worked for the company for 6 years quitting during my vacation. My stress and minimal motivation to go to work each morning has not disappeared.
But I just finished my graduate degree in Electrical Engineering! I must love the field and want to work in it for the rest of my life right? Hmmm...Maybe my studies have only uncovered my true feelings that I want to do something else instead. Although my degree has given me confidence in my technical abilities and proved to myself that I have the capability and knowledge to excel in my field, I still feel a diminishing passion towards it. However, I do not regret choosing to pursue higher education at all. I am very proud to have finished my studies and earned my degree.
Right now, my focus was to start looking for other work opportunities. My hope would be that maybe I am just bored and tired of working in my current role. Switching to a new company or new role completely would re-ignite my passion as everything would be new and exciting again. But I am unsure if this is really what life is about. Is everyone simply switching between jobs until they have a general level of satisfaction and can bear the work? Then continue this path until reaching financial independence? Is this really what I want as well?
In an ideal world, I would like to have a job I am passionate about that continues to develop myself and keep my interest and motivations alive. I want to do something that can put a smile on peoples' faces and give me satisfaction at the end of the day that I can be proud of what I accomplished. This has led me to think about pursuing either an occupation in food services(opening up a bakery/cafe shop?) or teaching kids. Of course these are just the 2 most immediate ideas that come to mind. And of course, I have the lingering anxiety about how this complete 180 degree change in my career will affect me and others in my life financially. But does that really matter as long as we are happy?
At this point in time, I really need to focus on what I want out of life. This may be financial security, financial independence, personal fulfillment through providing happiness to others, etc. Maybe there is an ideal point where I can achieve all of these.
Anyways, these are my thoughts as of today that I wanted to write down. Hopefully, this journal will keep my mind on track to keep pursuing my goals whatever they may be and not lose focus. I cannot simply brush over my unhappiness each day and become complacent. Everyone deserves to be able to move forward towards the pursuit of happiness.
I wanted to start this blog as an online journal of my reflections on life and my thoughts. There is no fixed schedule to this blog, I will update it with posts when I feel the need to write down my thoughts. Hopefully, I can share this blog as a forum with family, friends, and others as a way to reflect on their own life and to start discussions about topics that are presented here.
On to the first post!
-----------------------------------------------
I've decided to start this blog today as I have been having somewhat of a pre-mid-life crisis. These feelings of distress and the need to write down my thoughts ultimately stem from my increasing stress at work and contemplating how I want to plan my life for the future. Do I enjoy my job? Do I enjoy working for others? Am I making an impact on the world? How can I work on things I am passionate and care about while at the same time preparing a financially stable life for myself and my family in the future? What am I even passionate about anymore anyways? These are all questions that have been running through my mind recently.
This breaking point all started about 3 months ago. I was in my last semester of finishing my graduate degree in Electrical Engineering. I was taking 2 classes during the semester and working full-time at the same time. This was no easy task, balancing a full work schedule as well as a full school schedule. I also wanted to make sure my relationships both with my girlfriend and my friends and family did not deteriorate. I had recently moved under the direction of a new manager on a very challenging project who was known to be quite the intimidating person. He is very technically skilled and has a sometimes confrontational and aggressive personality and management style. Me being an introvert and someone who does not like conflict, especially with my direct boss, I am in quite a high pressure situation. I wanted to deliver on my project and prove to my new manager and higher up managers that I can be successful even under high stress.
The combination of all these heavy workloads has burnt me out quite badly with work and with my field in general. My girlfriend and I had gone on a 2-week vacation to Toronto, New York, and Washington DC. Both of us had been very stressed and burnt out at work and we had hopes that this vacation would allow us to recover and re-focus on our work. However, since then, I have been pondering whether I want to continue working in this field or decide to pursue something else. Coincidentally, this has been highlighted by 2 other coworkers who have also worked for the company for 6 years quitting during my vacation. My stress and minimal motivation to go to work each morning has not disappeared.
But I just finished my graduate degree in Electrical Engineering! I must love the field and want to work in it for the rest of my life right? Hmmm...Maybe my studies have only uncovered my true feelings that I want to do something else instead. Although my degree has given me confidence in my technical abilities and proved to myself that I have the capability and knowledge to excel in my field, I still feel a diminishing passion towards it. However, I do not regret choosing to pursue higher education at all. I am very proud to have finished my studies and earned my degree.
Right now, my focus was to start looking for other work opportunities. My hope would be that maybe I am just bored and tired of working in my current role. Switching to a new company or new role completely would re-ignite my passion as everything would be new and exciting again. But I am unsure if this is really what life is about. Is everyone simply switching between jobs until they have a general level of satisfaction and can bear the work? Then continue this path until reaching financial independence? Is this really what I want as well?
In an ideal world, I would like to have a job I am passionate about that continues to develop myself and keep my interest and motivations alive. I want to do something that can put a smile on peoples' faces and give me satisfaction at the end of the day that I can be proud of what I accomplished. This has led me to think about pursuing either an occupation in food services(opening up a bakery/cafe shop?) or teaching kids. Of course these are just the 2 most immediate ideas that come to mind. And of course, I have the lingering anxiety about how this complete 180 degree change in my career will affect me and others in my life financially. But does that really matter as long as we are happy?
At this point in time, I really need to focus on what I want out of life. This may be financial security, financial independence, personal fulfillment through providing happiness to others, etc. Maybe there is an ideal point where I can achieve all of these.
Anyways, these are my thoughts as of today that I wanted to write down. Hopefully, this journal will keep my mind on track to keep pursuing my goals whatever they may be and not lose focus. I cannot simply brush over my unhappiness each day and become complacent. Everyone deserves to be able to move forward towards the pursuit of happiness.
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